I don't know how much worse my self esteem can get. I'm so close to telling Tyler to just leave me. I have such a problem with other girls in the world, particularly ones I think are better looking than me. I'm constantly worrying that he's staring at them, thinking about them, etc. I couldn't tell you how many times a day that crosses my mind. I was talking to my best friend the other day and she said "what I dont get is, you know your faults, but you dont change them." Exactly. I know what I'm doing, but why dont I change? Because I'm the most negative person on the earth. I have no hope that I can change, I am constantly telling myself negative things about myself, and I never see it happening. Even with pills and therapy, I dont see things getting that much better. I mean how can those things change the way I feel about myself? If I dont like me, I dont believe anyone can.
I start therapy on friday. I ready hope it helps, or I might just give up.
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