Day Thirteen
I have a VERY short fuse. I get irritated so quickly, if you sneeze wrong, I'm mad. I can't handle Kash or Roree any more. They are both just too much for me. I know its the depression that makes me so irritable. I hate it. I NEED to change. Kash does NOT deserve a mother like me. I am horrible. I just want to cry. Well, I am actually.
Currently Kash is locked in his room with the light off, screaming that he wants his meme(blankie), His blankie is in the dryer. And I told him that. I know its upsetting to not have the thing you want, but please help me by not screaming your head off and trying to climb on the dryer.
He hasn't listened ALL day. I tried to clean and pack, while I was doing that he was running around with his toy hammer hitting roree. NOT OKAY! I took his hammer away at least ten times. I don't know how else to handle him. I try saying things nicely and rewarding good behavior, but why is it so often that he has to hurt her?
I didn't want to be "this" mom. The one that freaks out and can't stay calm. But I am having a VERY hard time. I even took him to the park today, and guess what he did, ran away. No more parks. I tell him, "Kash walk over here so your shoes don't get wet please". Nope. "Kash lets race to the car". Nope. Anyone want to take him till he's 30?
What will help? I'm at a loss. Parenting is too hard.
Hang in there Shan, he's 2. 2 yr olds don't listen. They will push you to the very limit to see if there is a limit. My girls did the same thing, so did you, so did kyle, so does every child. So do my foster boys....DAILY! Do the best you can. Continue to enforce the rules so he knows they are there. And when you really can't take it...call Karen or someone you trust to help. No one does this "mom thing" alone, it takes a village :)
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