Self worth..

Day ten


I am not happy right now. I am feeling so filthy ugly. Tyler and his boss were fighting and something his boss said made me totally switch gears. I don't know if I can really give you exact details(but maybe I should so you can know?)

Alright here goes(don't jugde). Tyler was telling his boss how he asks one of the other co-workers her opinion a lot, his boss replied with something like this, "When I asked (co-workers name) about hiring the girl with the fake titties and she told me if I did she'd quit. If thats having to have my co-workers hold my hand, then I won't ask for opinions anymore.

Okay something like that. Now you may wonder, what does this have to do with me? Well it really has nothing, but with my brain, everything. All I kept focusing on was the fake that he said "fake titties"(sorry its so volgar). My brain told me if he's thinking that, then Tyler must be too. And I got very angry and upset. Poor Tyler got something he didn't even deserve. I asked him if I could get a boob job and he said why? I told him, becuase you don't like me(which isn't true at ALL, but my stupid brain and selfesteem say it is) He said of course I like you. I got mad and told him to stop touching me.

Now I am moping. I HATE the way I look. I don't even know why I got mad at Tyler. He had NOTHING to do with it. But that's what happens. ALL. THE. TIME. I am ALWAYS seeing prettier girls and not wanting him to see. Especially in movies. I HATE watching movies with pretty actresses in them. I'm always thinking he's looking at her or whatever. I don't know why he would even like this in the first place. I am hideous. I will NEVER feel pretty. I didn't feel pretty before I was pregnant and now I'm uglier. I hate feeling like this. This happens on a daily basis. I've gotten after tyler plenty of times for not liking me. If I don't like me, how will anyone else? There is NO way.

Now I shall go cry..